Personal

Black in America.

It was around 2:45 on a recent Friday afternoon, and I’d just stepped outside for lunch (it had been a busy day). The temperature was a little warmer than preferable, but it was a beautiful day nonetheless. My productivity that day was at sky-high levels, and I couldn’t wait to devour this salad I was about to pick up. It was shaping up to be a great end to the work week.

As I made my way toward the café, though, my beautiful day got real ugly, real fast.

Walking at a hurried pace—as I was in a rush to get my food and get back to the office—I was impeded by this woman in front of me who wasn’t paying any attention to anything except whoever was on the other line of her cell phone. Seeing as how she was moving at a glacial pace, I started walking to the left of her so I could pass by her and keep it moving. But then, for some reason, she deviated from her path and also moved a little to the left—not to purposely cut me off, but just because she was completely aloof and unaware that anyone was behind her.

Her change of path caught me off guard since, at that point, I was extremely close to her and still walking at the same hurried pace. To keep from running into her, I stopped abruptly and almost tripped. As I was about to move to the right and go around her, however, a man walking in the opposite direction toward us told her loudly:

Watch your purse.

After a split-second of shock, I flipped.

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A birthday letter to my Mom.

Dear Mom,

Happy Birthday! You’re 63 today, although you really don’t look a day over 40! (Okay, maybe 45. But you still look great!)

I’ve already told the world how blessed I am to have such an amazing father. But to have an amazing mother, too? I must be blessed and highly favored.

As with any parent and child, you and I have our fair share of disagreements. But whether I agree with you or not, at the end of the day, I know you have my best interests at heart, and that you only want what’s best for me. You have no idea how much I appreciate that. The older I get, the more I realize that it’s hard (actually, almost impossible) to find people who will have your back no matter what. So thank you for just being there for me when I need you.

I know no one’s perfect, but you’ve been an amazing example in my life, especially when it comes to loving and caring for others. Whenever I’ve seen anyone come to you asking for help in any situation, I’ve also seen you do your best to help them in any way possible. So many people can vouch for your kindness. You’ve given so much of yourself and cared so much for others. Every single day, you truly embody what it means to be selfless.

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65.

My dad’s turning 65 today. For the most part, I’m happy for him, although being 65 also means that he now gets Medicare, which in turn means that I have to start paying for my own health insurance. When this came up in one of our recent conversations, I think we both got a little emotional about this extra step in my never-ending path of growing up.

Ironically, this month also marks the end of my first year at my first real job in the real world. After finding a job, moving away from home, paying bills, and claiming myself on my taxes, I can say that I’m pretty much on my own now. I’ve learned a lot from being on my own and having to take care of myself, although I realize I still have a long way to go. I just feel blessed, though, that I’ve had such a great example in my life of what it takes to be a good man.

Being a good man requires a lot of things. Strength. Leadership. Compassion. Hard work. Commitment. Loyalty. Just to name a few. I’ve seen all of this and much more in my dad across the years, and for that, I’m thankful. It’s impossible to remember every piece of advice he’s given me, but what I can remember is what I’ve seen in his character. On top of that, he’s also man enough to realize when he’s messed up. Given, it doesn’t happen often, because he’s on top of things 99.7% of the time. But when he’s not, he’s not too arrogant to admit that he’s wrong. Too often, men succumb to their egos and refuse to admit when they’re wrong, because they think that shows weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth. It takes a strong man to recognize his mistakes; a man that can’t admit being wrong is just insecure.

What I admire most about my dad, though, is that he’s a man of his word. Thinking back on the 22 years of my existence, I can’t remember a single instance in which he’s lied to me. That, in and of itself, speaks volumes about the kind of man he is.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be half the man I am today without my dad’s presence in my life. Sure, I tell him that kind of stuff a lot (well, at least twice a year for Father’s Day and his birthday), but I want to take every opportunity I can to let him know just how much he means to me.

Happy birthday, Dad. I love you.

Have I come too far to pick up trash?

So, as I was in the library yesterday morning working on a paper due yesterday afternoon, I noticed that the study room I was inhabiting had a lot of trash on the floor. It wasn’t an absolute mess, but it definitely needed to be cleaned up. (I didn’t really notice this until I started trying to distract myself from finishing the paper.) Anyway, as soon as I decided that I needed to clean it up, I heard a vacuum cleaner in the distance. The janitor was coming.

Some in my situation would probably just sit back and chill, but I wanted to do my part and help him out a little bit. As I started cleaning, I heard a knock on the door behind me. It was the janitor. I opened the door to let him in to the study room, making small talk with him for a little while before he went to work. As he vacuumed around the room, I continued to pick up some of the bigger pieces of trash, until he put his hand on my shoulder and said the following words to me:

“Son, son, don’t do that. Please don’t do that. You’ve come too far to pick up trash.”

There’s a lot I have to say about that. A lot. So please keep reading.

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